Blessed Among Women, Part 1

When Mary went to visit her sister-in-law Elizabeth to announce that she was giving birth to the Savior of the world, Elizabeth called out, "Blessed are you among women!" (Luke, chapter 1) This past year has given me so many opportunities to feel as though I'm "blessed among women" as well. Please note: I'm in no way comparing myself to the mother of Jesus...just that I can understand that feeling of being truly, TRULY blessed. One such instance of blessing happened this weekend.

I started going to a local Romanian church about 6 or 8 months ago. My friend Dan and his cousin, Ramona, went there and invited me. I have such a heart for the country and people of Romania that I was looking for any connection here in the States to the place I travel to just twice a year. Slowly I've started to meet people and make friends. One of those people that I have met and begun to know is named David. A week or so ago David and I had the chance to chat at Dan's going away party (he moved to Arizona). As is typical if you talk to me for more than 20 seconds the topic turned to my work with orphans and, specifically, my work in Romania. Fast forward a few days and I get an email from Jodi, the trip coordinator for Heart to Heart International. They need me to get $1400 in a week so they can order my airline ticket. I hit Twitter and Facebook letting people know the need. One of the people who sees my message is David. He called me this past Saturday afternoon and asked if I would be willing to get up after the church service that night and talk a little about my work in Romania. I agreed and, despite the fact that I get very nervous and shaky when speaking in front of people, I managed to say a little something about why I love Romania and why I miss my boys so much. I told everyone about the Heart to Heart website and said they could find me on Facebook or talk to me in person if they wanted to hear me prattle on some more. Then I sat down and tried to stop sweating (did I mention I get nervous speaking in front of people?) and tried not to think about how much I probably sounded like a drunk idiot. Then David announced that some of the people from the church had something for me and he handed me an envelope. These lovely Romanians, who barely know me from Eve, who are all young adults and probably have something better to spend their money on like iPhones and car payments, had raised over half the money towards my plane ticket. Of course I started crying. And then people just started handing me checks and asking for the website and telling me what an inspiration I am. I'm not even joking. I seriously left in a state of shock. Just ask my friend Albert. He tried to talk to me later that night and I probably sounded high because I was trying to just process everything.

Here's the amazing thing. This was one of only 3 things that happened that was awesome this weekend. I'm saving the other 2 for another day because you might get awesome overload. The bottom line is that I'm not someone who's Mary Superchurchgoer. I don't have a hotline to God. In fact, I manage to muck up on a regular basis. I'm emotional and cry too much about stuff that doesn't matter and I worry about having a good hair day and my nail polish chipping. It's stupid really (see previous post on being a bonehead). The thing is that I'm just trying to do what God called me to do. And, for me, He said to go and care for the orphans and vulnerable children of Eastern Europe and Russia. To be a voice for them. To wrap arms around them when no one else will. To fight for them because they can't fight for themselves. To love them. It's simple really. And then I just trust that some day, some how, I'll get to the exact place where God wants me. He's the one who throws open the doors and makes straight the path. It's not like I said, "Ok, David, I'm going to tell you an awesome story about how amazing I am for working with orphans and you're going to go out and raise all kinds of money for me." Pretty much I just talked about the passion God placed on my heart and how I'm trying to follow where He leads. It's not easy, living a life like this. Sometimes you end up living in your parent's house with graduate school debt, a cat who sneezes in your face during the night, and no real sense of where the next 6 months will lead you. But it's so fulfilling. Contradiction, right? Because that's just how God is. And I don't want it any other way.

Processing

It has been 18 days since I got back from Romania. In some ways it feels like I just left yesterday and in some ways it feels like 3 months ago. Those 2 weeks seem frozen in time and yet life keeps barreling on, moving and changing.

The day after I got back from Romania I started my internship with a counseling center about 30 minutes from my parent's house. I absolutely love it. I've been given the chance to jump in with two feet and accomplish as much as I possibly can in 6 months and I'm taking full advantage of it. Next week I'll be able to start seeing clients on my own. It's crazy and exciting all at the same time! Having this internship has been so good for me. Even though it's a lot of work (and a lot of tough, emotional work) I'm excited to go in each day and I leave happy every afternoon. I literally sing praises on the way home because I enjoy my work so much.

Last weekend was the big moving day. All my furniture (that I'm keeping) came to my parent's house (a.k.a. my new digs). Everything was going great until we couldn't get my couch through the upstairs playroom door.

We even tried removing part of the door frame.

Still not working. The whole frame is going to have to come off. This was the event that broke the camel's back. I had desperately wanted the move to go smoothly, and for the most part it did. But it's all been kind of emotional and with a couch in the hallway all those emotions came right to the surface. Luckily we all survived the event pretty much unscathed. The couch is still in the hallway but the handyman is coming next week to attempt to solve the problem.

So, there's all that and then some. In fact this post barely scratches the surface of all the processing and reflecting I have been doing. There are still lots of questions: What should I be doing in 6 months? What should I be doing in a year? Should I get a job? Do I even have time for a job? Can I handle the stress of a job in addition to school and interning? If I don't get a job how will I pay for bills? How am I going to ship stuff for EEROP? Where am I going to store all this stuff for EEROP? Will we get our 501(c)3 status before the end of this year? How can I raise money to get back to see the kids in Romania? What about all the other orphanages I really want to visit? Right now there are definitely more questions than answers. But I have been reminded that God is working through all this and He has big plans for me. I'm not scared but, rather, excited to see what is just around the bend!

Resting Up

It's Saturday and it's raining and I don't want to do anything except knit and read blogs. Sure, there's laundry to do, the house needs to be vacuumed, I need to finish my taxes, and there are literally 5 boxes of donations for the Eastern European and Russian Orphanages Project that need to be labeled, but I'm tired! As is customary for me I go through periods where I get extremely super duper out of control busy and, for awhile, I thrive. And then it all gets to be a little too much and I sort of have a break down and cry and really wish for some chocolate (there is a reason I don't buy sweets). And then I take a few days and I don't do a whole lot of anything. Things get accomplished but in small doses. For example, the dishes and the laundry will rarely get finished on the same day during this time. I'm in that final stage right now. Last week I was finishing up the quarter for grad school which meant I had two 15+ page papers due the same night (side note: I finished both but they were shorter than the required length. Got one of them back already and I made a 95 on it. All that stress for nothing.). I was getting ready for the Smoky Mountain Fiber Festival and then, on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning (can't remember now, the time line was kind of sketchy) a family thing came up. It resulted in this:

My cousin William receiving a Purple Heart after an attack on his patrol in Afghanistan. You can read a little more about it here. I'm insanely proud of him and the other soldiers, mentioned and not, that were a part of this. We are so ignorant here in America of what goes on daily so we have the freedom to run our mouths, drive our gas guzzling cars, and own half the world's wealth. Obviously this hit me pretty hard. Especially since my cousins and I are very close, they're like my brothers and sisters. By Thursday night I was a hot mess. And then, it was over. I turned in my papers and posted my final discussions for school. I went to the fiber festival and had a great time. My cousin was discharged from the hospital and life went on.

I wish I could say that this past week has been less crazy but it's been just as much stuff, except, different. Different meetings, different job commitments, different deadlines. Still the same busy-ness. But today feels a little more calm. A little more relaxed. I'm sure I'll get stuff done today, just at a slower pace. And that's ok. For now I'm going to read some blogs and knit more on the big blobby blanket.

And not worry too much about the other stuff.