Monday, February 11, 2013

The Fake Nail Saga

For some time now I have been under the delusion that I would like to have fake nails. I've tried to grow my nails out a few times (and by growing them out I mean you can actually see white nail) but I always get tired of them and cut them. Despite my inability to maintain a long natural nail for some reason I see fake nails as different. They make that cool clicky sound when you touch something and they're like heels for nails. My mom mother always advised me against acrylics saying they will destroy your nails so I decided to get some press-ons at the local Wal-Mart to try. I put them on using the little sticky tabs and they all fell off in under 30 minutes. Then I decided to take the plunge and glue them on.

Bad idea.

Almost as soon as I had them on, I wanted them off. I mean, they looked cute but the minute I tried to actually *do* something in them I was totally incapacitated. Putting on clothes, opening a bottle, typing on the computer, USING MY IPHONE...but the real kicker came when I realized I was going to have to take my contacts out with an extra quarter of an inch of nail. Needless to say I knew they would have to come off.

I managed to sleep through the night with the nails on but I woke up ready to gnaw them off my hand. I'd done a little research on how to remove fake nails the night before. Most had said to use acetone...which I didn't have. Another site (including the official Super Glue website) suggested trying warm, soapy water. I figured I'd start with that and then try rubbing alcohol (also a suggestion) and regular nail polish if all else failed.

So, after breakfast, I began...
Here's my nails before hand:

Cute? Right?

Notice on the left hand that the pinkie nail had already come off in less than 12 hours. I was washing my hands and I heard this little "pop!" I was secretly glad because I was more reassured than ever that these babies would come off with a little soap and water.
Pinkie nail says, "I'm free! I'm free!"
I soaked each hand for 5 minutes in some soapy water (for the record I used dish washing soap which I thought might help due to its ability to cut through oil and grease) and then used the little cuticle pusher that came with the kit to begin prying them up from the back. In just 5 minutes 2 popped right off on the right hand and all but 1 came off on the left hand. 5 more minutes and they were all off.
My natural nails are a little worse for wear but, man, do I feel better!

I don't think I'll be getting any more fake nails. Ever. Lesson learned.


Caryn said...

What you have to try is gel nails. Go to a salon and get a gel manicure. Gelish or whatever brand they have. Its like a UV cured regular manicure but it makes your nails super strong and is not hard on them at all, unlike acrylics.

I totally agree on the acrylics. I love the way they look and even sound, but practically, I can't stand them. I had them put on at my wedding (ahem, um, a while ago) and that was the last time. I mean I can hardly type with them. But gel nails are really just a special type of nail polish that lasts and lasts and also is super-hard. To get them off you do have to sand the top coat off and soak in acetone, but I find that a biweekly soak in acetone is not nearly as damaging as acrylics.

If you buy the DIY kit it totally pays for itself, but its much simpler to just try it at a salon first to see if you like it. Plus, if you get tired of the color, you can paint regular polish over it and then take it off with non-acetone remover. No harm to the gel nails!

Also, I received the yarn I won and thank you so much! I'll be sending you a big box. I've been nesting and decluttering, which means using up those odd balls of yarn I've been saving for charity forever. SO that means like 20 hats.

mdoe37 said...

I've only done fake nails once.....the husband had a "function" to attend so I went to the salon and got an apprentice-type to do them cheaply.

I have really flat nail beds so most nails squish them. Then I had to put on panty hose. Geez Louise.

Mine came off the next day purely by chance. I shoot trap and skeet as a hobby and while cleaning with Hoppes, they curled up and fell off.