Not Going to Lose It

Folks, this week has been complete and utter insanity. I did 8 intakes (initial assessments) on new clients this week. That is nearly as many as I did in the previous 2 weeks combined. Each assessment takes about an hour and half to 2 hours. Plus I had 7 regular client sessions to hold. Except that there is always something: testing at school, doctor visits, forgetful parents...that means that sessions get moved and my whole schedule gets rearranged. Oh, and I had to do a few emergency sessions this week as well. Needless to say by Friday night my stomach was cramping horribly from the stress and even today (Saturday) I'm battling a headache and a very pinched nerve in my left arm. There is still a lot that needs to be done, both for my full time job and for the nonprofit (which also had about 900 things that needed addressing this week), but, surprisingly, I have managed to make a HUGE dent in things. Being under so much pressure must make me super productive.

Still, I would appreciate no repeats of last week. I'm not sure my body can handle it. Unless someone is prepared to offer me free massages.

Despite there still being a few looming deadlines, a website that needs to be fixed, and several emails that need replies I'm allowing myself to forget about them for a few hours (though that is harder when you decide to blog about them). I have a somewhat sketchy plan of how I will finish tackling various to-do things this weekend and I'm taking some time to just knit and relax.

I had tons of ideas for projects I wanted to make so I checked online and found this pullover pattern. I like that the neck has buttons so it can be worn fastened in cold weather but can also be undone for pulling over big heads (if you are like me and seem to have a rather large cranium). I started a few hours ago and here is where I am now:

I'm using Cascade Eco Wool in a blue-ish tweedy type color that I picked up at Stitches East probably 5 years ago. I really like it though and I think it will be a great knit for a little boy (this is a charity knit, I'm not trying to tell anyone anything by that statement).

I hope the rest of you are relaxing a little this weekend as well!

Productivity

I am a chronic list maker. I have to-do lists for the year, the month, the week, the day, the hour, the next 30 minutes, and sometimes the next 5 minutes. My desk and kitchen table are littered with notebooks,  post it notes, and scraps of paper sometimes bearing the exact same list. I even have a notepad and pen in my bedside table so that I can (and frequently will) write notes to myself just before I doze off to sleep.

Just a typical view of my kitchen table.

The other day I had such a list made and I actually completed much of what was on it: I went grocery shopping, got my oil changed, re-skeined and labelled yarn, completed the remainder of my paperwork for my next trip to Romania, vacuumed, unloaded the dishwasher, reloaded the dishwasher, updated my blog, and put the kitchen back together after a previous day of dyeing. I was up at 9:30 and spent two hours on the computer before I even got dressed answering emails and updating my charity website. And yet, at 7:30 when I was all finished with the above mentioned tasks and was setting out for my evening walk I felt like I had been unproductive. I felt like I should have done more, like I should have worked on my CV or my support letter for my trip. Or I should have loaded the car for the festival (even though there are only two boxes to load and it will take all of 10 minutes in the morning). The problem, as I see it, is that my gauge of productivity is off.

When I used to teach I was always going 150 miles an hour. At one point when I was teaching band I was up at 5:30, at the high school by 7:20 to teach a class, over to the middle school by 8:30, taught all day until 4:30, then a brief break and back to the high school by 6 for rehearsal. And I was in the church orchestra and hand-bell choir, teaching private lessons, and spending my Saturdays at band competitions. Then, when I started teaching 1st grade I was also running my charity and my dye company in my "spare time" after work. And still teaching private lessons, serving on leadership at my church, and, for a brief time, dating. I was used to going full out but at the same time it was killing me. That's why I decided to go into business for myself. But now, when I don't have a day where I feel like every moment is jam packed and I end the day feeling accomplished and not dead tired, I feel like something is wrong.

This was what I was pondering over on my walk tonight and I've decided it's time to retrain myself. Just like I had to literally reteach myself how to breathe after my sinus surgery (because I had such a badly deviated septum and horrid sinus cavities) I'm going to reteach myself what normal productivity is. This means that if I accomplish a lot on the to-do list I'm not going to be too hard on myself if there is one or two non-critical things that are still on there. I'm going to allow myself to see answering emails as important (because they are). I'm going to start viewing a clean load of laundry as an accomplishment and not as just something extra that needed to be done. In short, I'm going to enjoy my self-employment for all the reasons I originally intended to.