Do you ever have a day where you just go, "What the heck?!?" Today has been one of those days. It started out perfectly normal and by the end of it I'm emotionally, mentally, physically, and, yes, maybe even a little bit, spiritually spent. I feel like just standing outside in the rain (even though it's not raining) a la some 1980's film and screaming at the sky, "Why God?!?!"
The thing I find hardest is that it's been little things eating away at me all day. One kid who won't listen no matter what you say. Another child in tears. A harsh critique from someone. A friend who needs answers. Someone getting really, really sick. The heat. Slow internet. No notecards when all you wanted was to write a letter. It all adds up to frustration.
You spend all day trying, trying, trying. And some times nothing will come of it. Frankly, God never promises that if you work your bum off for Him that every day will be productive. That everyday the heavens will open and angels will sing and a rainbow will appear and a unicorn will dance around and everyone gets a puppy. In fact, the Bible says that there will be many troubles in our lives (Psalm 34:19, Psalm 40:12, Psalm 71:20, Psalm 88:3, 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, 2 Corinthians 6:4). But these verses also promise that God will deliver us from our troubles. Unfortunately, I operate on Melissa Standard Time and not God's Divine Time. I want everything fixed yesterday. I want the kids to stop stealing scissors and shooting spitballs. I want to mend years of abuse and neglect with one word or one hug. I want everyone to understand how desperate the plight of the orphan is; forget the technicalities of what statistics say. I want all relationships to be right as rain. I want supernatural healing. I want air conditioning. I want lightening fast technology. I want 4 or 5 not too girly notecards. And, dang it, I want a drink a 2 liter of Mr. Pibb and eat a bag of Doritos!
So, what do you do when there are troubles and there are no easy answers and you really want to chuck your diet out the window and stress eat? I will stand on the promises of God: "I call on the Lord in my distress and He answers me" (Psalm 120:1). He will answer me and deliver me from troubles. Maybe not tonight. Maybe not even tomorrow or the next day or even the next day. But, one day, He will. Tonight, I will call on the Lord and wait for deliverance.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
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1 comment:
thank you for sharing so honestly.
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